Bart and Risa exchanged looks and rolled their eyes. "Ben, Roswell Is on EVERY day. Itís reruns, for crying out loud," Risa said, sniffing with a snotty air in her voice. She didnít particularly care for Roswell. She stopped watching after the second season. She lived for all-new episodes of Smallville. It was far superior to Roswell in her mind. "Ben, when are you going to get with it? Roswell is dead. Over. So last year. Move on already, k? Everyone knows Smallville kicked its ass in the ratings, anyway." She said the last part with a sneer, knowing it got on her friend's nerves. Poor, loyal Bennie. So out of it. She still thought Spike was hot and that Spike/Buffy ruled. Where the hell was she?
Bart grabbed Risa's Skyy Blue and took a sip. "Why the hell do you guys always buy this stuff? Itís a dumb shit chick drink," he said, taking a huge gulp.
Risa laughed and then grabbed her drink back. "Yet somehow, you keep taking it from me." He got annoyed and made a face.
"Hey man, itís ok for now, but you all need to get some Corona. With lime, too. That's the shit, man!" Both Bennie and Risa groaned.
"What the hell is with your Corona obsession?" Bennie asked, giggling. "Itís just like Michaelís obsession with Snapple." They all started to laugh, until a voice said, "Why exactly does Michael like Snapple?" Risa got up and gave her fiancee a kiss. She threw her arms around his neck and smirked.
"Because is made from the best stuff on earth?" She said, winking. He laughed and kissed her. Bart watched them, glowering. He'd never thought Anil was good enough for Risa. He was such a pansy ass mother-fucker. He wasnít manly, protective or hell, even caring. She deserved a real man. Someone whoíd take cares of her and not asks her to be someone other than who she was. He wished she'd pick someone who actually liked her for once.
"Itís time, Itís Time!" Bennie said, turning on the TV excitedly. Everyone else just gave each other a look and plopped down on the couch. As the credits came on, Anil started to laugh. Everyone looked at him funny until he finally said, "Is it just me or does Brendanís hair get greasier and greasier every episode?"
Everyone laughed and then Bart said, "Donít forget the fact that the mullet keeps getting bigger. Before you know it, itíll have babies of its own and theyíll all live happily after in Scarsdale."
"More like Kentucky," Risa said with a smirk. They watched the show for some time. When the show finally ended, Bennie put it on pause and sighed. "Awww, Alex was so cute in this episode. Heís so protective! I love how he punched out Michael in the end. He and Maria are so great together," she said with a sigh.
"Yeah, I like that part, too, but Maria is a dumbass. She didnít even try and let him explain. Plus, why does she always have to be so pushy and clingy? God, that chick has issues. She clearly needs psychotropic drugs," Risa said, disgusted.
Anil smirked and nodded in agreement. "They ALL need psychotropic drugs." Suddenly, it got very quiet.
"Excuse me?" said Risa, aggravated beyond belief. "Kyle does NOT need psychotropic drugs. He is the most normal character on the show. God, if anything, he needs a big, fat hug. A nice one, that lasts several minutes."
Bennie stood up next to her and glared at Anil. "Yeah, what about Alex? Heís normal. He's the sweetest, cutest teddy bear in the entire world. All girls should be lucky enough to have a cutie like him."
Bart looked up halfway and chimed in. "What about Kyleís dad? Heís pretty cool." Both girls started to giggle uncontrollably. The boys looked at each other and shrugged. Anil finally looked at them and asked, "What the hell is so funny? Anything youíd care to share with the group?" They both sighed and Risa spoke. "You mean Sheriff Porno?" she said, laughing. Bennie sighed and nodded. "Kyleís dad rocks. He really does, but seriously, heís Sheriff Porno. Heís got this problem with underage teenage aliens he just canít control, see..." Both groaned and made a face.
"Aww, damn, girl, whyíd you have to go and say that queer shit? Sheriff is the man. Heís not doing it with Michael or Max. Ugh, man, thatís so gay!"
Bennie slapped him and glared. "So what, now being gay is a crime? All of sudden itís not ok to be open-minded? Get out!" she yelled, motioning for him to leave. He gave her the finger and started to get up. Risa sighed and stopped him.
"Wait, donít go. Bennieís just mad because you made some bigoted comments that werenít cool. Just apologize and itíll be ok. I mean, itís just a dumb TV show. One that got cancelled, I might add."
He shook his head. "No way, Ris. I donít care about that politically correct crap. Itís cute as hell when two chicks do it, but two dudes? Thatís just nasty. Esp. if one of them is an old dude." Risa, Anil and Bennie all gave each other looks and looked at him.
"Two guys making out isnít gross! Thatís so sexist! Guys can say dumb shit about girls, but we canít think about two boys? You are such a prick!" she shouted, pissed off.
Bart grinned and shook his head. "Ohh, I get it. Youíre a freaky girl. Aight then, I see how it is. You like that dirty shit." Risa smacked him on the head and pulled him aside.
"Dude, you canít talk to people like that, esp. her. What were you thinking, making homophobic comments like that itís not cool!" she said, running her fingers through her hair. He grabbed a few strands and started to play with them.
"Well you get it, donít you, sweets?" he said, purring.
She rolled her eyes and looked the other way. "Yeah, jackass, I get it, but not everyone is your better half. Bennie is insulted and pissed off and you've made my fiancee think my friends are all idiots. At this rate, Iíll have nobody at my wedding," she said, pouting.
He hugged her and kissed her forehead. "Iím sorry, sweets. I canít help it. I donít give a fuck what your fiancťe thinks, cuz heís not worthy to even lick the ground you walk on. Heís just some dumb richie-rich mother-fucker who thinks heís special because he throws money at you. He doesnít love you and itís not fair. He should treat you better. As for your freaky-ass roommate- Dayum! What a ho! I mean, I've seen freaky Bitches, but this girl, sheís just nasty. Why the hell is wrong with her, anyway? No need to be so insulted. It ainít like sheís-" he caught the look on Risaís face and it dawned on him. "Ick. Youíre rooming with a Dyke? Damn girl, youíre brave. Youíre pretty as hell. If I were you, Iíd be afraid sheíd hump on my leg in the middle of the night. Unless..." A slow grin started to form on his face she caught his look and she slapped him, glaring.
"Itís not like that. Weíre just friends. Besides, sheís 16; sheís a little jailbait for my taste. Besides, sheís not a Lesbian. Sheís Bi. Leave her alone, sheís cool." He sighed and nodded as they went back to where Bennie and Anil were sitting.
"Look guys, Iím sorry, ok? I wasnít trying to be a hater," he said, hoping it came off sincere. He sure as hell didnít give a ratís ass. He was doing this for his princess, plain and simple. He didnít want her mad at him. They all talked about other things for awhile, and then it seemed like things were nicer. Hell, he even managed to have a decent conversation with Anil about tennis. Well, not tennis as much as Anna Kournikova and how hot she was. Even Bennie thought so. Hahaha, that was something he had to get used to. Risa of course disagreed. She didnít like "Playboy bunnies that pretend to play tennis". He laughed at her joke, despite the fact that he disagreed. They talked for some time and eventually fell asleep, except for Bart. He couldnít sleep. He felt this weird pull, like he was needed.
He opened his eyes slightly, just in time to see Risa getting up. What the hell? He looked at his watch and saw how late it was. He proceeded to freak out even more. Damn her. Doesnít she know how late it is? God, sheís begging to get mugged, or worse yet, raped and murdered. This campus isnít safe for girls. Iíd better go after her... He got up, starting after her. She had no idea her was following her and he hoped to keep it that way. Youíd better not be getting into trouble, Risa. I hope you know what youíre about to get us into...
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